My devotional 8/7/17 How to Handle Rejection by Shana Schutte

My devotional 8/7/17

How to Handle Rejection by Shana Schutte

Excerpt

Have you noticed sometimes God will allow us to be exposed to the very thing that frightens us so we will realize we are not victims, but instead can be victors? This is how it was for me with rejection.  

Twenty-five years ago possible rejection was the relational difficulty that terrified me, whether with a romantic interest or friend, so I tried to avoid it at all costs by people pleasing—which of course, didn’t work.

Much to my horror, God didn’t shield me from rejection like I hoped.  Instead, it seemed like someone was tossing me aside every time I turned a corner.  It wasn’t fun! One day I woke up and realized what I thought would destroy me, hadn’t! The result was what I believe God had in mind:  freedom from the fear of rejection.

I have struggled with this my entire life as well. I put up a brave and tough front and I think over the years I have probably become a little jaded and used to it. I know psychologists would say it stems from being rejected by my biological father at a young age. He and my mom divorced when I was very young. He had visitation every other weekend but his lifestyle of drugs, loose women, fast and hard living often kept him away (which turned out to be a good thing in the long run because I was never exposed to certain things like my half-sister was). But I remember as a little girl sitting and waiting on him to pick me up for a visit and he would call hours later to back out of our plans, if he bothered calling at all. Then I would cry myself to sleep wondering why my daddy didn’t want me.

Today, when someone backs out on plans we have, for whatever reasons, those feelings of rejection come back.

I’m mature enough to know that in this world, not everyone is going to like me. I’m okay with that. Really I am. What I’m not okay with and probably never will be is the fear that others have of rejecting me. Maybe they don’t want to hurt my feelings. Maybe they just don’t have the courage to say what they really think and feel. Maybe they don’t even know. But what I can’t tolerate is someone telling me one thing and behaving another. It confuses me, makes me anxious and strikes up those old feelings of fear in me.

Yet, I’ve had to get used to it because apparently most people these days just can’t be straight with others. All I can do is what His word says, “as far as it depends on you, live in peace with others”. That doesn’t mean accepting their bad behavior.  Most likely, I’ll tell people what I think about it. But then I let it go. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother me that people are like this. I’m sure at times I probably come off this way to some, too. But we try. I believe we can all be honest with each other and not be intentionally hurtful. But it takes effort that some just don’t want to put in.