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Notes from handwritten journal--Andy Stanley

Starting Over by Andy Stanley

Knowing better does not always equal doing better.

Own your mistakes/bad choices.

Don't get wrapped up in your "story" that you forget your part in it.

Blame enables us to smuggle our issues into our own futures.

Ask yourself, "What was my part?"

Blame sets you up for repeat performance.

Owning = clarity

Mathew 5:8

purity ←→clarity

Make peace with your past.

Next time can be better not because you want it to be but because you plan for it to be.

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From handwritten journal August 8, 2017

Lord, I am thankful for so much! Thank you that Darrell will be okay. I ask that You, almighty God continue to protect and bless him.  Get him off the streets Lord. Move mountains and get it rolliing like only you can. Thank you for timely scriptures and devotionals. Thank you for the freedom of rejection. I ask that my heart not be bitter with disappointment but full of joy in knowing You plan has yet to be revealed. Thank you for the opportunity to plan new fields for You. I will faithfully go where You send me. Keep my focus on You!

December 26, 2017

Lord, I know you know all that has happened.  It certainly wasn't what I wanted but I trust that You know better.  I am glad I found out the truth before I wasted anymore time or more of my heart. I know you know the awful things I said in the midst of my pain.  Some of it--they deserve.  And I do regret that I couldn't control my emotions or actions.  nothing excuses what I did.  And I'll do my best to make amends in time--though I doubt they care.  Right now they only forgiveness that matters to me is Yours for me and mine for those that hurt me.  I know You will deal with them.  I know that he didn't fit Your plan for my life.  I still need You to show me what Your plan is.  And I trust that You will.  Thank you for my family and friends that have stuck with me through this awful time.  Help me to stay off social media and anything else not meant for me to mend my heart, grow my faith or anything that takes my focus...